MOO 12: Just Talking
by Amanita Jackson
Summary: Month O' Oneshots 12! Theodore Nott is..well, rambling. The entire fic. Talking to...someone, I'm not entirely sure who. This is so random and openended. Possible BLaiseTheodore slash if you felt like it. If not, not. Just read.


A/N: Wow...this is so wierd...I have no idea where I was going with this and...wow...I may write a companion piece if y'all want closure, from Blaise's point of view, possibly. Maybe not. Who knows. I am tired and want more chocolate ice cream and still have to bring the plate of tuna up from the basement. Curses. Ah well. Enjoy.

Pairing: Theodore/Luna, Theodore/Blaise. Again, mentioned it is more what I did.

Dedication: For Gill, my bestie forever and ever, just cos. Yeah, this is a bit of an odd one, don't worry, I'll write something funnier for you one of these days.

Disclaimer: Must we go through this? I own nothing but the blow-up Pirates of the Caribbean sword I got in a gross McDonalds meal earlier today. It was the only bright spot. I nearly threw up just from the fries. I didn't even eat the cheeseburger (they got my order wrong and everything, the idiots.) Ooh, yeah, and the song is Last Train Home by Lost Prophet.

Warning: Mentions of slash, mentions of het. This is the tamest one I've ever written. Wow.

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To every broken heart in here  
Love was once a part, but now it's disappeared  
She told me that it's all part of the choices that you make  
Even when you think you're right  
You have to give to take

Luna used to like me, but she said that I would be happier with Blaise. I told her I didn't mind being with her and protested that not only did I not like my friend but that Blaise was also one of the few guys around here who was straight, just look at how he plays around with all the girls. She asked me why he played around with girls. I told her it was because he liked girls, obviously. She told me to go ask him and see what he said.

Luna was two steps ahead of me, figuratively and literally. I promised her I'd do it by breakfast on Saturday, and she knew at the start of breakfast that I hadn't asked and by the end of breakfast I hadn't asked and Blaise was leaving the hall. I hurried after him but she had gotten there first.

She asked Blaise why he fooled around with girls when he didn't really like them and she told him _I_ had been wondering….

Needless to say, I turned several shades of red and dragged her away with my hand clamped firmly over her mouth.

I honestly, truly, in my heart of hearts and down to the depths of my soul have no feelings for Blaise, other than friendship.

I did, though. Once. But not anymore.

Luna says it's my fault for not confronting him earlier and that she can tell we belong together because her cards told her.

She tells fortunes with a pack of poker cards with pictures from the Muggle city of Chicago on the back. It's crazy, but so is she. So am I. So is everyone.

But honestly. Poker cards.

Yes, I'm sure that I'm over Blaise. Why would I lie to _you_?

So seventh year drew to an end and we had just the weekend, the final feast and the awards, and then home to pack and say our goodbyes before we were all kicked out the door for good.

**But there's still tomorrow  
Forget the sorrow  
And I can be on the last train home  
Watch it pass the day  
As it fades away  
No more time to care  
No more time, today**

I'm telling you the truth. I don't like Blaise anymore. I don't love anyone anymore. My feelings got pretty screwed up way back in the summer before third year. Don't ask. But I just ignored them until they went away. They haven't come back yet. I have gut instinct because I could and probably would die if I ignored that, but I truly don't get annoyed or furious or swoony or miserable or anything like that anymore.

Don't look at me like that. It's not bad. It's kind of fun, actually. I mean, yeah, there are drawbacks but I gave up mood swings of the stereotypical teenager up for a sort of eternal, unbreakable calm. I sat through Cedric's death with dry eyes and I've gone through a couple of fights without yelling or raging or going cold. I'm not a cold, emotionless robot. I'm just sort of stuck in neutral gear, to use a Muggle metaphor.

Really, it's not that bad. It's like that bit between waking up and falling back asleep where you know that things are there but they don't concern you at the moment and there's just warm fuzz all around. It feels like that, but all the time and without the lack of cohesion and logic.

Tonight's the feast and tomorrow we leave. I'm pretty much the only one who's not making use of this last punishment-free night.

Well, I _am_ writing rude things on Trelawny's board and carving rather lewd comments into the corridor near the Gryffindor dorms. Oh, and adding graffiti to the boy's bathroom on the first floor. And I'm going to go round all the seventh-year dorms tonight and steal everyone's clothing while they're otherwise occupied.

But other than minor things like that, I'm not up to much, if you know what I mean.

Midnight. Welcome to the new world, Theodore Everett Nott.

It's going to be even less welcoming than the old one.

**But we sing  
If we're going nowhere  
Yeah we sing  
If it's not enough  
And we sing  
Sing without a reason  
To ever fall in love**

And with midnight, the spell broke a little.

Or that could have been the fireworks and my imagination. But I can feel some things now. I'm not loving it, I have to say. What brought on the sudden change? Several things.

I got back to the dorms and realised this was my last night with a definite roof over my head. I mean, my parents aren't even picking me up at the station. I have all the stuff I own in my trunk and I have nowhere to go after I leave this pile of rocks. That shocked me a little, I must admit, knowing this might be the last time in a while I'll be able to sleep in a good bed and not on someone's couch somewhere.

I hate change, I have to say. I loath it. It annoys me every time. I get used to something and then it changes without so much as a by-your-leave. Idiots, the world over.

I climbed the stairs and saw some little third years snogging in a corner. I mean, people four years younger than you having more of a sex life than you. Imagine that. Yeah, it doesn't feel too much like a confidence-booster.

The third thing I noticed was that when I got up to our dorms--ours for one last night--Blaise was the only other one there.

**I wonder if you're listening  
Picking up on the signals  
Sent back from within  
Sometimes it feels like I don't really know what's going on  
Time and time again it seems like everything is wrong in here**

I was telling you the truth back there. I don't have any romantic inclinations towards Blaise.

However, I did not say I couldn't be persuaded. I mean, things were changing and I loath change, but why not go the whole nine yards and change everything? I'm open to suggestion.

Blaise and I chatted for a while, him sitting at the head of his bed and me at the foot, and it seemed like he was going to make a move a few times, but something always went wrong. There was something in the air. Not like a flock of fairies or like a burning oil smell but like a feeling. Remember, I'd been living with almost nothing but gut instinct for a couple of years so I didn't confuse that with any lovey-dovey feelings or misguided teenage angst.

Something was wrong, but I couldn't describe it if I tried. I think Blaise noticed it too. I don't think either of us knew what it was, and even after Blaise rolled over and fell asleep without even touching me I still had no idea to go about looking for whatever it was.

Yes, I was a bit disappointed that Blaise hadn't done anything with me, but frankly, the _wrongness_ was occupying a lot more of my mind.

Something was happening and I needed to know what. Sadly, I didn't figure it out that night and needlessly lost quite a bit of sleep.

**But there's still tomorrow  
Forget the sorrow  
And I can be on the last train home  
Watch it pass the day  
As it fades away  
No more time to care  
No more time, today**

**But we sing  
If we're going nowhere  
Yeah we sing  
If it's not enough  
And we sing  
Sing without a reason  
To ever fall in love**

I hummed a mindless tune to the beat of the train wheels as I tried to figure out what had been up with the night before. Blaise was in my compartment but neither of us said much to each other. I think we agreed to write each other when we could, because I'd gotten sporadic owls from him since we parted that day on the train to the day we met again in that park about eight months later.

Too soon, too soon we were at the station. It was finally over.

**But we sing if we're going nowhere  
Yeah we sing if it's not enough  
And we sing  
Sing without a reason to ever fall in love**

**But we sing  
If we're going nowhere  
Yeah we sing  
If it's not enough  
And we sing  
Sing with out a reason to never fall in love  
To never fall in love again**

Well, I found out what was wrong. Some melodrama with Potter and Malfoy and something inane like that. Nothing to worry about. But death was stalking the grounds that night. That was what I had felt. The sins of centuries risen up from the ground.

Eh. Not important, anyway.


End file.
